Bidding Goodbye

I speak to you, I speak my heart out

I talk to you, I want to be heard

I cry to you, I cry my heart out

I do so because you are my only escape, one who I think would understand

You stand out of the crowd, you are the one in many who cares for me more than anyone else.

You are my shadow, you are that one piece of me which is inseparable
You are near me, yet so far away from me
You give me happiness, you give me peace, yet you give me a sharp aching pain
A pain which is killing me silently,
I swear that I will never be back to you again, not even if a part of me is dying to see you, hear you... ...not even then.

But I can only confess that you lost a bit of me today, the bit you forgot ever existed
I have taken a step ahead and bid goodbye to you, hoping to see you someday
A day when I am no more a part of you, a day when you shall look upto me, and would have nothing to give back in return
Feeling a little cold inside, or feeling nothing at all...
That day you would bid me goodbye, a goodbye which would last forever in your memories, just to keep me alive... at least there's where I would only exist..............

Goodbye stranger!

Pencil Queens

Poetic Bundle

Another You

It is just another lonely night.

Just another night without you by my side. 

With no one to turn into, with no one to hold on tight.

It is one of those nights where I see blue, but only wished if I could see you.

Why can't it be one of those nights when I held onto you?

Why can't the sound of your voice be real, probably like the one when you screamed my name when I ran into you?

You were so warm, you were right there looking through my eyes, peeking in my soul.

Probably it was you or just my thought which was thinking of you.

I just so wish that you were real, as real as the real you...

Dark Desire

In the midst of the darkness I could only think of you.

My only hope, my only light is just when I think of you.

The sound of emptiness within and out, surrounds me always with the thought of you.

Only if thoughts could live, I would give my life to it to be back to you.

You still hunt me in my thoughts. 

You always walked with me through the lights.

You just missed walking with me through the dark.

That is where I am still waiting for you.

Standing in the dark corners of your mind is where you shall find me now.

With a smile, a rose and a candle in my hand, making way only for you.

I am waiting for you to turn on the lights, turn it on for this lifetime and the next one again.

Show it to the world I wasn't wrong in thinking about you while you were gone.

You have been my hope, you have been my desire.

You shall live in my heart, in my heart forever....

Green Aisle

The way you touch my hand and walk with me through the night. 

It makes me feel complete, it makes me feel light.

Can't stop staring at your eyes, in awe of your charm.

It still gives me chill, which runs through out inside.

It is grand out here with stars surrounding us in the sky.

The lush green trees on either sides, seem like welcoming us tonight.

A bit of green on the left, a bit of green on the right, 

With a bit of green under our feet and a starry studded sky.

It makes me feel you made it all for me, for us to start a life.

I walk with you through this path together, making a vow for a lifetime.

It is you who shall I see before I sleep and you who I wake up to.

Walking with you in this green aisle together, makes me feel I am with my life forever.

Freedom

Just came up with this random thought while I was half asleep last night and couldn't help myself so woke up and started scribbling it down. The thought was a free term, Freedom. To most it means a feeling or emotion to feel free from worries, troubles, thoughts, people, situations and many more. Most of us come across this word many a time during the day, while working, while driving, while cooking, while reading, while walking, as a matter of fact innumerable times and we all think about it right at the back of our minds. Thinking about it rigorously or may be even calmly sometimes trying to share it with some and sometimes keeping it to self or should I say most times keeping it to self. Well to me it occurs this way. To me freedom here would be a feeling which would not stop me from sharing things with someone which I’m thinking of, it could be about something or about someone which hardly matters. But what really matters is the freedom of being able to share my thoughts (which are free and keep popping in my mind) with someone every second I blink. It’s hard at times to share things with people but at the same time it is harder to keep things to oneself. The more we keep doing it the more we keep killing ourselves slowly and moderately. There have been so many books written and so many researches done by learned people to study the mind and its various affairs but has anyone ever wondered why we keep thinking on and on without break or any gap. I have no idea to it too as I’m not a genius either, neither do I wish to become one. 

A simple thought which came to my mind and led me to reach out to you saying just one thing. Do you freely choose to share whatever you are thinking of or do you choose to choose from the thoughts and then make a choice of sharing it? Well, aren't we making it way too complicated by keeping most things to ourselves? Who knows we might be one step away from making something big or winning a fortune or even making it to the Guinness records? Why do we always get stuck with complications while we can just sit back with a bucket of popcorn watching a movie giving a damn to the whole damn world? 

Hmm… I guess a single mistake which most of us do is not giving a chance to free our mind thereby freeing our souls. Once that is done we are half way through. And freeing our mind could be done by being able to share what we think of. Just give it a thought… a free thought and share it with me if you like. I’m free to listen to it… and will share my thought as well.

Love Fights !!

A new place, a new environment, a complete different atmosphere I’m in. Sitting in my room I’m looking outside the window I can clearly see the blue sky with beautiful clouds running away giving a sense of freedom. As I get my eyes below I see a beautiful couple standing in their balcony spending their quality time with two coffee mugs and lots to share, laugh and talk about. A week full of bygone frustration and pressure at work and also the fights they must have had which made them do silly things for which wifey dear must have quit talking to her man. She just happened to look away from her husband as he was talking about his difficult colleagues only  then something caught her eye and she froze for a second. A good looking man driving by just glanced at her smiling and before wifey could smile back her hubby dear caught her staring him and gave the man passing by a good long angry look. Wifey dear was embarrassed and just saw deeply into hubby’s eyes touching his hands giving him an affirmation that he meant the world to her. Taking one sip after the other they were silenced for a long time.

A moment to die for, a moment you can’t live without, a moment to have someone holding you so tight that you would never feel that the moment ever ends. That’s what that moment was speaking aloud to the couple who spoke nothing at all, yet they had so much to say to each other.

Now I think I too need a cup of coffee ……

Gentle Dreams

             I imagine being in a world that is free of worries and pain and where I can re-live a life full of happiness and content. I wonder where such places really exist. As I close my eyes I see something amazing which started like this……Tall golden grasses gently moving with the cool breeze making me feel like I am in heaven. Walking down the yellow patch of free land I reach a view which seems so clear in my mind that I almost feel like I am really there. Swoosh! I’m there and I see golden grass everywhere swaying to and fro with the gentle wind blowing swiftly, I feel it too. Ah, it’s so fresh that I smell the freshness of it. Wow! An amazing thing to be feeling while I’m writing which I can see and feel at the same time, but the best part would be if I can show you the place I’m in too. I see I’m on a high land near the sea; I walk slowly with my palms reaching out to touch the living nature, the dancing grass moving with the beats of the wind. As I reach the end of the cliff I notice that I’m on a high altitude. I move my eyes from just below the cliff to the larger view which is right in front, a spectacular scene which is simply so beautiful and serene. The land ending there facing the sea introduces me to the water world which spreads beyond what my eyes could see. The blue shade of the water which begins right where the golden color stops, what a deadly combination. As I listen more carefully I can hear the waves hitting the shore so hard as if they were trying to get my attention. And as I looked at it, it smiled back at me. I am alone yet I feel so content as if there were someone so important I trusted sitting right next to me enjoying the beauty. I know who it is, it’s the nature who is so powerful that it never lets you feel alone or lonely. Strange, I feel lonely when I’m surrounded with so many people but here I just feel the opposite. I look around just to make sure if there is anyone or it’s just my imagination. But I’m convinced that I’m alone but not lonely there. An immense satisfaction I’m having here sitting quietly gazing at the sea. There is no music but everything moving in rhythm, the wind, the waves and the grass. Who needs Enrique’s love songs to enjoy this evening while I’m on a date with myself? Having said this, time just flies so quickly that the morning sun starts changing its color as it goes down which in turn changes the color of everything else. A setting sun always makes me emotional and leaves me with a heavy heart, the reason for which I haven’t known yet. I’m sure it happens with you too, it’s universal I guess. The sun may have gone down but the best time to enjoy the sound of waves is at night time. So I decide to climb down the cliff and take a walk on the wet sand. Better take off your shoes else you wouldn’t enjoy this ride. The sun has lent some light to the moon and that’s why it’s lit now to make our night the most memorable one, a one to remember.

           It was tough getting off the climb but I’ve succeeded at last. Panting hard to take a grip on my breath, I rest on a large rock to get my heart pumping blood the normal way. It will take a minute or two to get back to normal so I just raise my head and look up at the sky and I see a star studded sky with in numerable stars twinkling. And as I keep staring with excitement my eyes stop at the moon. A whole moon which has come out only for me tonight was shining so bright that I almost felt like taking a piece of it with me back home. I could almost reach the sky it seemed so close, moon looked so white as if it had been to the dentist today for getting the plaque removed. I stood there in aw to get such a surprise and I thought I already had seen the best of nature. As I revive from the surprise I start hearing the waves again telling me to join them, splashing a bit of it on air. Wind is gentle on me tonight but it’s a different song it seems to be playing on which the waves are dancing so I decide to have a closer look and take the walk of my life on this beautiful evening with the most precious person in my life, I. I can feel the wind touching my bare arms and legs as I’m wearing a short siphon white dress, the perfect one to wear for the moonlit walk after the dinner date. 

         I still stand there waiting to be greeted and to my surprise I’m hit by the first wave touching my feet. Gosh! The water sparkling like diamonds have covered my feet, it’s such a great feeling. The feeling of wet sand underneath my feet as I take the first walk on this lonesome beach, hundreds of thousands of thoughts flashing in my mind but I’m so calm that those thoughts seem not to move me by anyway it could. I’m just moved by these beautiful moments of joy I’m given to enjoy. A step after another as I take on the beach I start realizing that life would be so better if we could just make it so simple that we feel like we just own it and we can only own it if we enjoyed every bit of it. 

Drenched Thoughts

A lovely morning to start the day fresh with fresh thoughts pouring in as I watch the rain drops fall on the ground leaving the most beautiful smell of wet mud. I know it very well that you love it too.

As I hop in the train and watch outside I see green spaces which leaves an aw in my mind. Trees standing tall and clean which proudly show themself looking down upon the bushes and plants feeling happy, swaying and calling it a day to relax. The cool breeze blowing gently and brushing away the leaves....how wonderful to see and enjoy this moment. The drops of rain falling down on the glass window, the sound of first rain is like music to the ears which washes away all the worries leaving a very pristine thought of getting drenched in the rain and then rushing down to have a cup of hot tea or coffee. Holding the coffee mug and standing on the balcony watching out...this can be done only if I took the day off.

Rain coming down giving a chance to the kids to splash water at each other. Laughter and smiles is all they do when they make paper boats and float those in water or just remove their shoes and  drop it in the water